blackpurplewings:
Don’t turn around Sammy
http://petite-madame.livejournal.com/1698.html
But imagine, this happened their while lives.
Sam was young when it first happened, when he found out what his dad did. Then his first hunt came along. The boys still weren’t allowed to kill the monsters yet. Sam was watching their father, it was a vampire. When the machete sliced, Sam stumbled back. He hit Dean first. That night, Sam had nightmares.
After that, Dean always turned Sam away when their father killed the monster. At least until Dean had to kill a monster. To Dean, he still couldn’t fathom the fact any living creature should be killed.
It was a messy fight, they were all cornered. Sam was back to the wall, the monster hovering over him, about to kill. Dean saw and he moved. He moved faster than when he was four. Dean swung his blade, and the blood splattered over Sam. The room was silent. Dean was horrified. He learned that day he would do anything to protect his baby brother, even commit murder. Sam was terrified. His big brother, the one who always gave him any food, had killed this monster.
When they got back to the motel and John finished celebrating with a six pack and conked out, Sam cried. The tears would not end. He wouldn’t let Dean come anywhere near him.
After that, Dean would put his arm around Sammy to shield him.
“Don’t turn around, Sammy.” He’d say.
And Sam would grab his big brother’s arm.
To this day, Sam closes his eyes for at least a brief second when he kills something.